Here's something that will change how you think about building on Substack:
The creators making the most money aren't the ones with the biggest audiences. They're the ones who can name their top 20 subscribers and tell you exactly what keeps them up at night.
This insight came from a conversation with a creator who's built one of the most engaged communities I've ever seen. She doesn't have hundreds of thousands of followers. But she can tell you about Rachel's struggles with her marketing agency, Mike's transition from corporate to freelance work, and Jessica's quest to productize her coaching.
That's not audience building. That's relationship architecture.
And it's the difference between creators who struggle to convert and those who have waitlists for everything they launch.
The Intimacy Advantage
While most creators are chasing vanity metrics, smart ones are building what I call "intimacy advantage"—they know their people so well that every piece of content feels personally written for each reader.
This isn't about being creepy or invasive. It's about intentional attention.
When you know that Alex is struggling with pricing his consulting services, you don't write generic posts about "business growth." You write specifically about "Why underpricing killed my first consulting business (and the framework that saved the second one)."
When you know that Maria is trying to balance content creation with her day job, you don't share abstract productivity tips. You share "The 45-minute content system I use to stay consistent while working full-time."
The result? Content that hits like a personal conversation, not a broadcast.
Chat: The Secret Weapon Most Creators Ignore
Here's what most Substack creators get wrong about Chat: they think it's just another place to share links to their posts.
It's not. Chat is your community's living room.
The creators crushing it in Chat understand this distinction:
Broadcasting: "Check out my new post about email marketing!"
Community building: "What's the weirdest email subject line that's ever made you click? I'll share mine if you share yours..."
The second approach turns Chat into a space where your community talks to each other, not just to you. That's where magic happens.
Pro moves for Chat mastery:
Weekly "wins" threads where community members celebrate each other
Resource sharing sessions where subscribers help solve each other's problems
Behind-the-scenes moments that make people feel like insiders
Office hours where you're available for real-time questions
Challenges that create group momentum and shared experiences
The Support Strategy That Makes A Difference
One of the most underrated community-building tactics is supporting and prompting your people.
When a community member shares something valuable in Chat or comments thoughtfully on your posts, turn them into the star:
Screenshot their insight and share it as a Note (with permission)
Quote their comment in your next newsletter
Feature their wins in your weekly roundups
Invite them to co-create content with you
Why this works: People don't just want to consume content—they want to be seen and valued. When you spotlight community members, you're building their confidence; you're showing everyone else that this is a place where contributions matter.
The compound effect: Other subscribers start engaging more because they see there's real value in participation.
Office Hours: The Intimacy Multiplier
Hosting office hours is often mistaken for "Q&A time." The best ones use them as opportunities for deepening relationships.
Instead of just answering questions, they:
Ask follow-up questions that show genuine curiosity
Remember previous conversations and reference them
Connect community members who have complementary challenges
Share resources that are specifically relevant to each person's situation
Create "aha" moments by connecting dots that the person couldn't see themselves
The key insight: People don't just want their questions answered—they want to feel understood.
The 'Top 20' Exercise Every Creator Should Do
Here's a simple exercise that will shine a light on how you think about community building:
List your top 20 most engaged subscribers by name. Then answer:
What's their primary professional challenge right now?
What outcome are they trying to achieve in the next 90 days?
What specific objection would they have to your paid offerings?
What format do they prefer for consuming content?
Who else in your community could they learn from or collaborate with?
If you can't answer these questions, you don't have a community, you have a list.
If you can answer them, you have something more valuable than a massive audience: you have a group of people who trust you enough to help you build exactly what they need.
From Community to Revenue: The Natural Evolution
Here's what happens when you build real relationships instead of just collecting email addresses:
Launching becomes easier. When you know exactly what your community struggles with, creating offers that convert is customer service, not guesswork.
Pricing becomes clearer. When people see you as someone who genuinely understands their situation, they stop shopping on price and start buying on value.
Marketing becomes authentic. Instead of crafting generic launch campaigns, you're solving real problems for people you know.
Word-of-mouth becomes inevitable. People refer creators who changed their perspective or helped them progress.
Retention skyrockets. It's harder to unsubscribe from a person who knows your story than from a content machine.
The Attention Economy vs. The Intimacy Economy
Most creators are still playing in the attention economy—competing for eyeballs, optimizing for reach, measuring success by likes, comments and shares.
Those following the new model have transitioned to the intimacy economy and are building genuine relationships, creating shared experiences, and measuring success by the depth of connection they have with others.
In the attention economy: You need thousands of people to notice you
In the intimacy economy: You need dozens of people to trust you
In the attention economy: You compete on volume and frequency
In the intimacy economy: You compete on relevance and care
In the attention economy: Success is viral content
In the intimacy economy: Success is sustainable relationships
The intimacy economy is where the real money is made. It's also where the real satisfaction comes from.
I enjoy nothing more than a good chat with my community members. This is why I commit to starting conversations in my chat nearly every day of the week.
Your Next Steps: Building Relationships, Not Just Reach
This week:
Start a Chat thread asking your community to introduce themselves and their biggest current challenge
Pick 5 of your most engaged subscribers and learn their names and stories
Create one piece of content that addresses a specific problem you've heard multiple community members mention
This month:
Institute weekly "community spotlight" features in your Chat or newsletter
Start hosting informal office hours where the focus is relationship building, not just Q&A
Document the stories and challenges of your top 20 subscribers
This quarter:
Design an offer specifically based on the most common challenges you've discovered in your community
Create opportunities for community members to connect with each other
Measure success by engagement depth, not just subscriber volume
The Bottom Line
Building on Substack is all about cultivating relationships.
The creators who understand this and can name their people, know their struggles, and speak directly to their situations are building sustainable businesses.
And communities.
And careers.
And lives of meaning.
Your community isn't a number in your analytics dashboard. It's a collection of human beings who've trusted you with their attention and, eventually, their problems.
Treat them accordingly.
Who in your community can you name right now?
What do you know about their challenges?
Share in the comments—I love hearing how creators are building real relationships with their readers.
Join the conversation in my chat, Monday through Friday, and let's discuss transitioning from the attention economy to the intimacy economy.
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Thanks, I read it today, although I know it was published some time ago.
It's a good reminder that many subscribers don't translate into high engagement, and that it's impossible to keep engaging with 2,000 people at the same time.
Yet whenever I try to engage through DMs, I get little response.
I'm curious if you have any advice about that.
Love this perspective.